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Inappropriate Inquiries:
When The Camera is Candid, Don't Forget To Laugh
By Dean Rotbart
Ambush Reporter to comedienne Joan Rivers: Do you think ugly people should be allowed to have children?
Ms. Rivers: No, and I told your parents that.
Tough questions are a part of being a public persona. How celebrities, politicians and business executives handle the inevitable zinger is, in my opinion, the best singular gauge of their self-confidence, sense of humor and media savviness.
The typical response when a provocative question is hurled at an unsuspecting interviewee is to duck for cover. Otherwise composed, well-mannered, carefully constructed public personalities unravel faster than a well-hit baseball that has shed its cover.
Former Ford Motor chairman and CEO, Alex Trotman, got it right back in 1994 when satirist Michael Moore set out to make televised monkeys of some of America's most respected business leaders.
Moore is best remembered for his Academy Award-nominated documentary, Roger & Me, in which he relentlessly (and fruitless) pursues an interview with General Motors head Roger B. Smith. This time, Moore challenged three dozen of America's top CEOs to demonstrate a modicum of proficiency with their own products. Shouting through a bullhorn, Moore dared IBM's Louis V. Gerstner Jr. to descend from his corporate tower and format a computer disk. Likewise, he prodded fashion designer Ralph Lauren to make himself available to sew the hem of a shirt and GE's Jack Welch to screw in a light bulb unaided by his corporate handlers.
Trotman, a very proper Brit, was an unlikely candidate to one-up Moore. An ex-officer in the Royal Air Force and a Shakespearean scholar, the 61-year-old businessman joined Ford in England as an intern in 1955 and slowly worked his way up the corporate ladder.
Now here was a mocking Moore, pitched outside Ford's Michigan headquarters, urging Trotman on camera to take a good few steps down his corporate ladder and demonstrate that he has the ability to change the oil on a Ford Explorer.
Trotman was a good bet to follow the lead of every other corporate executive and remain cloistered in his office. Instead, in consultation with his in-house PR advisor, Al Chambers, he made the decision to don a pair of overalls and slip under the undercarriage of the vehicle to successfully perform the routine maintenance.
For his efforts, Moore awards Trotman a putter and office putting green. Trotman, who is now chairman of the British chemical and paint giant, ICI, was also knighted in 1998, although it's not certain that the honor related directly to his handling of the Moore interview. (If it didn't, it should have.)
Which brings me from Knighthood and Shakespeare to radio shock jock Howard Stern and his pestilent sidekick, Stuttering John. Whatever else anyone thinks of Stern & Company, I believe his troupe deserves the Nobel Prize in Radio for exposing the duplicitous and vain nature of so many public figures.
For many years, the ambush celebrity interview was a regular part of Stern's morning radio program and his various television incarnations.
Like an armor penetrating missile, Stern regularly dispatched Stuttering John (so knick-named because of a genuine speech impediment that he has turned into his professional signature) to press conferences and other carefully arranged media events to be the official Stern fly in the soup.
While other entertainment and music reporters peppered celebrities with softball questions about who designed their clothing or coiffured their hair, Stuttering John pricked each icon's sensibilities to see what personalities actually loomed beneath.
Of former Beattle drummer Ringo Starr, Stuttering John inquired: What did you do with the money your mom gave you for singing lessons?
When Gennifer Flowers called a news conference at New York's posh Waldorf Astoria hotel to discuss her allegation of an affair with presidential candidate Bill Clinton, Stuttering John asked: Will you be sleeping with any other presidential candidates?
Other Stuttering John moments:
To actor Chevy Chase: Do you read the scripts of the movies you choose to make or do you go, 'Eenie mennie minie moe?'
To the Dali Lama: Do people come up to you and say, 'Hello Dali?'
To sports broadcaster and "Mr. Kathy Lee," Frank Gifford: Does you son ever accidentally call you grandpa?
To actress Liz Taylor: Was selling perfume one of your career goals?
To anchor Barbara Walters: Should people who talk like Elmer Fudd pursue careers in broadcasting?
To comedienne Carol Burnett: Are you upset that you're unemployed and that Ellen DeGeneres is a superstar?
And to Regis Philbin: If Kathie Lee sucks, say 'What?' (The gag is that the question is so unexpected it inevitably evokes a "What" from the interviewee, who thinks that he or she must have heard wrong. My fourth grader thinks the concept is hilarious.)
No doubt that Stuttering John is crude. And please, note, that I only included those sample questions that the family censors would allow. His really razor-like material is much raunchier and evokes many more guffaws from those who appreciate it.
Most noteworthy individuals don't. Appreciate it, that is.
Raquel Welch hit Stuttering John in the nose after he quizzed her about her sagging figure. Ex-talk show host Morton Downey knocked Stuttering John off his chair after a question concerning his wife. Actress Sharon Stone took offense to one of Stuttering John's questions concerning her film and, according to him, she had her body guards rough him up.
Many, many actors and public personalities have morphed on camera from jovial to tyrannical in the face of John's ridiculously insightful questions. No matter how cuddly Michael Douglas or Danny DeVito portray themselves in the future, I've seen them at their worst, thanks to Stuttering John. And they aren't pretty.
Among the real news media, there are actually very few Michael Moores and Stuttering Johns. But I never coach an executive on how to meet the media without using those two inappropriate inquirers as classroom exhibits.
If you can keep your composure and laugh at yourself in the face of Michael Moore and Stuttering John, then ABC News' Sam Donaldson and CBS News' Mike Wallace don't stand a chance.
Stuttering John to actor Tom Hanks, who played Daryl Hannah's love interest in the mermaid movie Splash: Was Daryl Hannah blonde all over?
Tom Hanks' reply: A good-natured laugh.
(Tom Hanks gets it.)
January 7, 2002
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